College Life

Talked to my son yesterday for the first time since he left for college. Classes start today, so I wanted to call and wish him good luck. He said everything I didn’t want to hear, everything that sets my Mama Grizzly Bear /DEFCON alarm off. Fortunately, by sheer force of will, I kept my side of the conversation upbeat, positive and encouraging (at least I hope so). Here’s how portions of our talk went:



Me: How’s the food?
Him: I haven’t tried the dining hall for dinner yet, I’m still eating that pizza Dad and I got Sunday.
Mama Grizzly Bear: Sunday?! Today is Wednesday! Is it still good? There wasn’t that much left over. What’s he eating? Half a slice of moldy unhealthy pizza for dinner? He’s not eating right, he’s going to make himself sick. AND classes haven’t even started yet!
Me: You might want to try out the dining hall at least one meal a day so you can get enough healthy stuff to eat.


Me: You sound tired. Watching too much TV (said jokingly)?
Him: The bed is like a rock and my roommate snores. Plus I think everyone on this floor just came here to party.
MGB: ACK! ACK! Not sleeping AND not eating right! That’s a recipe for disaster right there! And what does he mean by “party”?
Me: I’m so sorry to hear that. Maybe we can bring some more egg crate foam with us in October. Would you like me to mail you a white noise maker to block out your roommate’s snoring? I know it’s hard now, but it will get better. A big change like this takes some getting used to. What do you mean everyone’s there to party?
Him: There’s loud music every night, and this morning, two thirds of the stalls in the bathroom were taken up with guys puking their guts out. I’m looking into switching to an intense study or substance free floor.
MGB: OMG! DEFCON 4! DEFCON 4! What kind of riff-raff is he living with? However, that’s my son making a wise decision. Look at him, all out on his own, and making very mature decisions. He takes after me that way.
Me: That’s an excellent idea. I hope there’s a room available for you.


Me: Have you made any new friends?
Him: No, there’s nothing to do.
Me: I thought there were meet and greet activities this whole week.
Him: Yeah, if you’re rushing a fraternity.
MGB: Stupid fraternities.
Me: You need to check things out a little better – I’m sure there are other non-Greek things to do. Have a good first day of school tomorrow!
MGB: Hey! Remind him to eat better and get more sleep and stay away from the riff-raff and wash his hands and stay away from bad girls and study hard and go to class and... !
Me: Bye-bye!

Man, I gotta figure out a way to quiet that bear down.  She's going to get out and cause trouble again.