Friday, September 11, 2009

Diva Moments

Inside my businesswoman body beats the heart of an artist. And sometimes that artiste gets pretty darn uppity, wanting nothing more than to cut up whatever I’ve been working on. The kids started calling these episodes Diva Moments, and the name stuck.

Diva Moments occur when a quilt I’m sewing is not meeting expectations. This is a bane to my perfectionist tendencies. Why can’t everything I do be perfect the first time? Instead of realizing I’m not perfect and trying a different approach (perish the thought), my prissy little diva starts ranting.

“This is swill! Why can I not create anything but garbage? I’m going to put this in the fireplace and burn it!” Sometimes, on the way to the fireplace, a reasonable facsimile of sanity returns. Or my husband brings the matches, and I am dismayed that he agrees with me.

Methods of destruction and expletives vary according to how high my frustration level is (much like the ever worsening rings of hell in Dante’s Inferno):

• Small seam ripper: mutter, mumble, big sigh
• Large seam ripper: How hard can it be to sew two pieces of fabric together in a straight line?
• Big honkin’ seam ripper: If this weren’t for a customer, I’d cut it up right now.
• Big sharp scissors: This looks like crap! Prepare to say hello to your new friends in the scrap bag! (see picture)

Other destinations where my projects have ended up are:
• The fireplace after being cut up.
• The dog’s mouth (Merle’s new chew toy).
• The shredder (bad idea – had to buy a new one).

You’d think after the shredder incident, I’d learn to control my little fits of pique, but no. Take this post for instance. It’s almost been to the new shredder three times.

I’m getting a little better as I get older though, and my Diva Moments can’t be heard by the neighbors anymore. I realize I can’t be perfect all the time, and try to be more patient with myself. But I did buy my own personal heavy duty shredder just in case…

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